Recognizing that I was having a tough time with my hormones, my self image and my overall mental health was the first step to getting back into the light. Recognizing that my anger towards the forces that kept my little girl in the hospital for four months was real and tangible was a big thing. …
Author Archives: shellyway
After The Storm
After going back to work and dividing my time between work; and trying to be everything to everyone there, and home; and trying to be be best mom and girlfriend I could be, I was running on empty. For months I had been running between hospital, work, home, repeat, that I had completely forgotten about …
Three Weeks
After Luna Bell was born, I took about seven weeks off; partially to recover from the C section and mostly to spend every moment I could at the hospital with my baby. At some point, her homecoming date was so uncertain, I was afraid that I was going to use up all my maternity leave …
Fast Forward
Since it’s been MONTHS since I’ve had time to write, I’m going to fast forward things a bit. Luna Bell went off the C-pap and onto “high flow” soon after being moved to the less critical NICU. And one morning, when nurse went into her room and the high flow nasal cannula was off her …
The Waiting Game
I mentioned in one of my first posts that when the NICU doctors kept using the word “months” in reference to the length of time Luna Bell might be in the hospital, I was indignant, even a little angry that they would even think that it would take my little superhero months to be well …
This Is 46
So today is my birthday. I’m 46. I’ve seen four and half decades. The 70’s where I watched “Charlie’s Angels” with my aunt and hoped to be a effortlessly beautiful as Farrah Fawcett. The 80’s where all I could do is dream of being a singer like Joan Jett or the ladies of Heart or …
Spoiler Alert
If you want to see how my story plays out and don’t want to know where we are with Luna Bell today, the one year anniversary of her birth, then please don’t ready any further. Seriously. Stop Reading! I mean it! Stop! Can’t stop if you wanted to? I have your attention? You want to …
Real World
On December 18th, Luna Bell was extubated and put on a c-pap machine to pressurize the air and help her breath easily. It was exciting, but frustrating keeping that little mask on her very tiny face and dealing with all the fluctuations in her breathing rate and O2 saturation…all things that new mom’s and dad’s …
HELP!
I’m not good at asking for help, I never have been. Back to childhood, I would say “NO, I GOT IT!” even if I really didn’t. Being 5′ tall, I’ve learned how to use counters, tables, chairs, anything that would make me a little taller to reach whatever I needed to reach, I would rarely …
17 Years
The morning of November 27th I heard the news that I had been longing to hear. If she continued to have a good day, and if I was ready, I would get to hold my daughter later that day. My heart jumped at the thought, and as I felt my heart jump, I realized the …
LUNAR PHASES 